Dr Robert A. Glover demystifies the myth of a “nice guy” and tells the cold hard truth about how they were developed and how to recover from this behavior if you are one.
As someone suffering from it personally, I have spent countless hours seeking approval from women, only to scare them off and feel lonelier and lonelier because of it. Wanting change, I decided to pick up this book and give it a try.
I was immediately hooked on this book when Robert defined what it meant to be a “nice guy” and listed different examples of men that fell in that category. He then threaded all of them and defined a common universal theme behind the “nice guy”. Never meeting their needs, they seek approval from others and hide their imperfections and flaws to in order to be liked. These men, (myself included) never argue with a woman or express their opinions. Inherently “flawed” they work hard to hide themselves to be liked.
- Robert gives a great overview on how the “nice guy” came about in the last 5 decades. It is well researched and thought it. I found it very intriguing
- I especially like the mini-exercises given in each chapter or so. It really helps my reinforce what I learned and helps facilitate open discussion and dialogue with others.
- Ties in childhood trauma and how it plays out in our adult lives that lead us to become “nice guys”
- The only con is that he repeats the same ideas over and over throughout the book. I like the idea of learning through repetition, but it got a bit redundant down the road.
Overall, I feel this a fantastic start for a “nice guy” to break free from his ways and develop new habits. This is a great stepping stone for me and anyone else interested in this topic. It is definitely a worthy read. If you want to learn to have to take assertion, get your needs met in a relationship, and even have a better sex life, this is the book to read. There are great mind shifts that I think will make a huge difference.